Sex expert Adreena Winters says more couples are turning to cuckolding to revive their sex lives and she wants to help make the once taboo kink more mainstream.
The 37 year old, who lives in Bristol and boasts 57,000 Instagram followers under @adreena.winters, is one of the UK’s most vocal advocates for the dynamic, drawing on her own experience in adult film and real life relationships to guide others through it.
Unlike a threesome, cuckolding typically involves one partner often a man taking pleasure in watching or knowing that their wife or girlfriend is having sex with another man, often referred to as a “Bull.”
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It’s a kink that’s been steadily growing in popularity, especially in the UK, with Adreena noting increased curiosity and rising search interest online. “People aren’t shocked anymore when I bring it up,” she said. “There’s more curiosity than ever.”
In her early twenties, Adreena’s boyfriends had to accept that she was having sex with other men professionally, and many were turned on by it.
That dynamic sparked the interest of fans, and soon she was receiving a steady stream of messages asking how to explore cuckolding as a lifestyle. Seeing a gap between porn fantasy and real world guidance, she launched the Cuckold Academy and wrote a book, So You Want To Be A Cuckold?, aimed at helping couples approach the kink with maturity and respect.
For those intrigued but unsure where to begin, Adreena offers five essential tips:
1. Don’t just drop your kink in someone’s lap
Start with honest communication. “Ask yourself first do you want to act on this or is it just fantasy?” she said. “If it’s something you genuinely want to explore, you need to have an open and gentle conversation with your partner.
You can’t just blurt out, ‘I want to watch you have sex with someone else.’ That’s not how you build trust. Make sure your partner feels empowered, not shocked or pressured.”
2. Understand that it’s not about control
Many people mistakenly think cuckolding is about dominance or permission, but Adreena insists it’s the opposite. “It’s not about letting your partner sleep with someone else. It’s about surrendering control and finding pleasure in their freedom. For a lot of men, it’s about admiring their partner’s pleasure rather than owning it.”
3. Humiliation isn’t a requirement
While humiliation can be part of some cuckold fantasies, Adreena stresses that it’s not essential or even common for everyone. “Cuckolding doesn’t mean degradation,” she said. “It can be tender, emotional, even loving.
There’s a lot of stigma suggesting this kink is only for ‘weak’ men or that it’s about shame, but that’s not true. If humiliation is involved, it’s usually part of a consensual and pre-agreed dynamic.”
4. Choose the third person carefully
Finding the right Bull is crucial. “It’s not about where you find them—whether it’s online, at events, or through friends it’s about alignment,” she said. “They need to respect your relationship, your boundaries, and the emotional atmosphere you’re trying to create. A good Bull adds to the connection between you, not threatens it.”
5. Make it about the couple
Despite involving a third person, Adreena says cuckolding is primarily about strengthening the bond between the original pair. “You’re not just adding sex you’re deepening trust. Support each other. Talk through emotions like jealousy, create boundaries, and check in often. Done right, this kink can enhance love, not replace it.”
Adreena’s goal is to strip away the myths and porn-fuelled misconceptions that surround cuckolding and give couples a realistic path to explore it. “I’m not offering porn I’m offering practical advice,” she said. “It’s about saving sex lives, rebuilding communication, and offering a woman’s perspective in a space that’s been mostly catered to male fantasy.”
And as for the reaction? “It’s honestly really sweet. I get guys posting photos of my book when it arrives. They’re excited to learn, and they’re often doing it to bring them and their partner closer. That’s what this is all about.”
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