Hayli Hooper, a 38-year-old nurse and part-time stripper from Western Australia, says her confidence and independence are scaring men away.
Despite her success in juggling two careers one in healthcare and another on the pole to help cover living expenses and investments she’s been single for seven years and blames it on men being “too intimidated.”
With 58,000 Instagram followers, Hayli regularly goes on dates but finds that men often freeze up around her, especially when it comes to sex. Some have even told her she’s intimidating, something she says is disheartening.
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One date, after weeks of chatting, ended with her spending thousands on a hotel and gifts only for the man to say he was too overwhelmed to sleep with her.

She believes the issue lies in how her confidence is misinterpreted. She doesn’t need men to support her financially or emotionally, and that, she says, makes many feel unnecessary. Despite always being the one to initiate conversations, she’s met with hesitation or silence, even from men who leave flattering comments online but never send messages.
A recent study by Supercreator suggests men are less focused on sex these days, preferring to talk about work, pets, and personal stories.

Hayli sees this shift firsthand but says it hasn’t made dating easier. She feels stuck in a catch-22: men complain about women being materialistic, yet when faced with someone independent, they find it threatening.
In the end, Hayli says she’s done apologizing for being confident. If anything, she thinks men need to stop complaining and grow up because right now, her self-assuredness is ruining her love life.
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