A self-described ‘sexpert’ has shared her top five tips on how men can please women in the bedroom – and revealed the single biggest mistake they always make.
Ona Artist, 30, from New York, claims to know exactly what it takes to guarantee your partner gets off every single time.
The influencer, who shares sexy snaps and advice with her 4.5 million Instagram followers (@onaartist), says satisfying a woman requires far more than physical technique.
“Realistically, it’s a whole spectrum of things required to ensure you’re satisfying your partner’s needs,” Ona told NudeNewz.
“You need to be vigilant of her, take care of her, watch out for her and be solicitous of her needs.”
According to Ona, making your partner’s desires a priority while being honest about your own is crucial – and communication is the foundation of good sex.
“There are five top tips that always work to get me in the mood and ensure that I have a good time, no matter what’s happened that day,” she said.
Switch off to turn on
Ona’s first tip is simple but often overlooked: eliminate distractions completely.
“Put your phone in a drawer, turn off your laptop, TV, radio, Playstation… Anything that may be distracting to you or your partner,” she said.
“Put all your attention on her and really talk to one another.
“There’s nothing sexier than conversation, listening and having that real intimate time to make her feel special.”
The sexpert believes that undivided attention creates the intimacy necessary for genuine connection – something that’s impossible when screens and notifications compete for your focus.
In an age where people are constantly checking their devices, making the deliberate choice to disconnect sends a powerful message about priorities.
Flatter her
Compliments matter, according to Ona – but they need to go beyond surface-level observations about appearance.
“I think it’s very important to flatter your partner, not just on how she looks, smells and tastes but show that you’ve taken things she said previously on board,” she said.
“Let her know what she does that turns you on, talk about everything, and show a deep interest in having sexy time every day.”
This approach demonstrates that you’re paying attention not just to her body but to her as a person – remembering details from previous conversations and making her feel heard.
The key is specificity: generic compliments can feel hollow, while personalised praise shows genuine engagement and desire.
Don’t be afraid of toys
Many men feel threatened by sex toys, but Ona insists this anxiety is misplaced.
“Lots of men can be intimidated by toys as they think it’s taking away from their own sexuality or that women may prefer them,” she said.
“Using toys together will only make sex better as it’s a shared bonding experience.
“Have fun trying out different things and don’t be afraid to be silly.
“The more relaxed you are the more at ease she and you will both be.”
Her message is clear: toys aren’t competition – they’re tools for mutual pleasure that can enhance intimacy rather than replace it.
The willingness to incorporate them demonstrates confidence and a genuine interest in your partner’s satisfaction above ego.
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Switch things up
Consistency in making time for sex is valuable, Ona says, but falling into a predictable routine can kill the excitement.
“While getting into a habit of making time for sex is great, try to avoid it becoming a routine,” she said.
“Surprise her with little gifts or tokens, they don’t have to be expensive.
“A sexy text telling her how turned on she made you last night or going all out with some saucy snaps while she’s at work will definitely put a smile on her face and yours.”
According to Ona, these gestures all contribute to foreplay – which doesn’t begin when clothes come off but extends throughout the day.
“It all counts towards foreplay – and don’t be afraid to be lusty and playful and p*rny. It can be fun!” she added.
The emphasis is on maintaining sexual tension and anticipation rather than treating intimacy as something that only happens at scheduled times.
Know how to turn things around
When things aren’t working in the moment, Ona advises against letting frustration or anxiety take over.
“If you’re getting down to it and something isn’t working, don’t let it get inside your head,” she said.
“Scale things back, go back to stroking, touching, laughing.
“Re-establish the bond of intimacy again and let things evolve from there. You don’t have to have full penetrative sex every time.”
She suggests creating a relaxed, pressure-free environment where connection matters more than performance.
“Enjoy a drink (alcohol or not), talk, hold hands, get close, be kind and caring toward each other,” Ona said.
“From there, maybe something sexy occurs.”
This approach removes the goal-oriented pressure that can make sex feel like a test to pass rather than an experience to enjoy together.
The one mistake most men make
According to Ona, the biggest error men commit is treating sex as something that just spontaneously happens without any effort or cultivation.
“I think men believe that sex just happens, like roll over, take it, and done,” she said.
“It’s about conversation, connection, making time for each other, listening, laughing, and being sexy with each other.”
She emphasises that good sex requires active effort from both partners – prioritising each other’s needs and desires.
“Most importantly it’s about being healthy, happy and serving each other’s interests as well as your own,” Ona added.
“Sex so often gets pushed aside because we’re too busy complaining about work, friends, family or squabbling over little things like who is putting the bins out!”
Why communication matters most
Running through all of Ona’s advice is a consistent theme: communication is everything.
From talking about desires to discussing what works and what doesn’t, she believes honest conversation is the foundation of sexual satisfaction.
Many people struggle to discuss sex openly with their partners, even in long-term relationships – but this reluctance creates barriers to genuine intimacy.
Ona’s approach suggests that being vulnerable and honest about needs, preferences, and even insecurities can transform not just your sex life but your entire relationship.
The mental side of intimacy
What stands out in Ona’s tips is the emphasis on mental and emotional connection over purely physical technique.
While sexual skill matters, she argues that desire, anticipation, and feeling valued by your partner matter more.
This perspective challenges the common assumption that being “good in bed” is primarily about physical performance or knowing the right moves.
Instead, Ona suggests that the best lovers are those who pay attention, communicate openly, and prioritise their partner’s overall wellbeing and happiness.
Building anticipation throughout the day
Ona’s advice about texting and staying playful reflects a broader understanding that sexual connection doesn’t begin and end in the bedroom.
Creating desire and anticipation throughout the day – through flirtation, compliments, and playful messages – keeps sexual energy alive between encounters.
This ongoing engagement helps couples avoid the common trap of only thinking about sex when they’re already in bed and exhausted from the day.
The pressure to perform
By emphasising that not every intimate encounter needs to include penetrative sex, Ona addresses one of the main sources of sexual anxiety for both men and women.
The pressure to “perform” and reach specific goals can paradoxically make satisfying sex less likely.
Her approach suggests that removing this pressure and focusing instead on connection, pleasure, and experimentation creates space for genuine satisfaction.
What the advice reveals
Ona’s tips paint a picture of sex as something that requires ongoing attention, effort, and communication rather than something that happens automatically in healthy relationships.
Her emphasis on making your partner feel special, paying attention to their needs, and maintaining playfulness suggests that the best sex happens within the context of mutual respect and genuine care.
For men wondering how to better please their partners, Ona’s message is clear: it’s less about technique and more about creating an environment where both people feel heard, valued, and free to express their desires.
Why she’s sharing this advice
With 4.5 million Instagram followers, Ona has built her platform around openness about sex and relationships.
Her willingness to discuss these topics publicly reflects broader cultural shifts around talking about female pleasure and sexual satisfaction.
Where previous generations might have treated sex as a private matter not discussed openly, influencers like Ona are normalising conversations about what actually works in the bedroom.
Whether her advice resonates will depend on individual relationships and preferences – but her core message about communication and connection reflects wisdom that extends far beyond the bedroom.
